Here are three things you must always keep in mind if you do not want your equally deranged alter ego to come after you with a gun.
#1: Do NOT (yay for MS Word. I can actually make it scream out loud in bold red font instead of merely asking people to imagine it) ever, ever crush on friend’s boyfriend. There is a line we do not cross; an unspoken sis code between us women which deems it necessary for us to harbor non-biological sisterly feelings towards the guy who’s taken by your friend. Lose sleep over him, make other people (except said friend) lose theirs by furiously texting them ranting about your misery, nurse a semi-broken heart and lament about the lack/near absence of single ‘The One’ type of guys around over endless cups of steaming hot coffee (which the friend in front of you is two seconds away from dumping on your head). But always put a brave smile on your face when you see said couple together; laugh and joke around, like you were born to make people laugh (which incidentally you probably are, given the way things are going), act like a brave martyr (read: stupid loser) and renounce your comfortable seat so that the mushy couple get to sit side by side, hold hands and make your insides churn, smile (not fake plastic smile if your friend has a good nose for smelling the rat) and coax said friend (as if your life depends on it) to spill intimate details about how they met and everything and do NOT look the guy straight in the eye. And do not accept his friend’s request on Facebook. The last two points, albeit creepy (or a tossup between super creepy and lame or really really dumb), are very very important if you are a sore loser like yours truly.
#2 see #1
#3 see #2
P.S: Yours truly is a terrible terrible woman; very prudish and a harsh judge of character (only hers i.e.). And drowning her misery in coffee or alcohol is no longer an option given that she has a deadline to lose weight.
I clearly have a lot of growing up and clearing my own mess to do.