10 hours before monstrous test.

“….Psychic spies from China….”

Phone rings.

 RDM(with whom I had the stellar conversation on flipflops): have you finished this combinatorics(name of aforementioned test subject) twillight?

 YT:What is Twillight?

 RDM: huh! as if you dunno you freaky vampire-lover!

YT:accha! so Twillight is the new face of exam-related abuses.

RDM:yes.a substitute for word that says it all!

YT: Why are you so up in arms against Twillight and everything remotely related to it?I have a sneaky feeling that you’re secretly jealous of Edward Cullen.You want to be like him

 RDM: Hell no I don’t! he’s ‘pretty’ if you know what I mean!

YT:so are Taylor Swift,Holly Valence,Megan Fox….so you fancy him as well.

 RDM: no I don’t. and shut your dare you compare those paragons of beauty to gay vampires who wear lipsticks and remain in a teenage girl’s room all night even though there’s a 186 years age difference between them!!!

 YT: huh! SRK wears does Tom Cruise. and you had put mascara in your eyes once for going by your asinine logic,I can say FB predicted wrongly about the percentage of available traces of homosexuality in you.the numbers should have been in a reverse order.

 RDM: No.Your Edward Cullen is a creepy sexual predator with teenage fetish. is that better than being gay??

YT: You sound vindictive dude.Did some man break your heart thereby causing you to hate all men alike?and btw,Cullen was being loving,caring,protective and romantic when he crept into her room at night.

 RDM:oh yeah! go on…fucking double standards…whenever I try so much as to take a peek in my neighbour’s bedroom,I am a creep and when Cullen does it,he is all those….women!!!!!

YT: exactly!! women appreciate it if your intensions are nice.Cullen a> wanted to make sure that Bella’s alright. b> wanted to spend time looking at the love of his life.yes,I spare you the melodrama but it’s kinda romantic.Women like it.Now you tell me,what are your motives and you’ll be branded accordingly.

 RDM: kinda b>(only with benefits….;)

YT: yeah.benefits.very ambiguous.women hate ambiguity.

 RDM:isn’t that an oxymoron?women hating ambiguity which is so characteristic of them??

YT: heh.I’ll give you that.anyway paraphrase:women hate ambiguity when it comes from men.

 RDM:uh huh!! chaalbaaj!

 YT:exactly.who isn’t my friend?

RDM: I am not.I am an honest deep soul.

 YT:uh huh.

RDM:I want to get married.

YT(double take):why?what has this got to do with your marriage??

 RDM: I want to marry ****.

I refrain from taking The Name as it’s a public forum and I don’t want to die a premature death.

 YT:Okay.go ahead.

RDM:Sniff! I am not even 20!

 (@RDM:I sincerely hope you’ll not read this and kill me for revealing your true age.I assure you none of my single hot female friends will mind)

 YT:fake have influential friends.

RDM: but kalke porikkha toh!…(but tomo there’s an exam toh!)

YT:accha tui kalkei biye korbi?? exam er por e korish then. ar toh 14 hours…(ok,so you want to get married tomo? do it after the test..only 14 hours wait)

RDM: yeah right. wouldja please pay for my rents and college fees and booze parties and honeymoon and kid’s school when my mom kicks me out??

 YT:kid’s school??? so you’re a loser who’ll not manage to get a job by then?? go to hell.don’t marry.

 RDM: hutt. ****’s parents are rich!

YT:yucks! you’ll take dowry??

RDM:nono! it’s blessings.don’t label it like that,I am hurt.

YT:wareva! for that you havta study and get good grades.

RDM: even in tomo’s test??

 YT(saintly smile):yes!

 RDM:so what am I doing here??

 YT:narrating marriage plans,homophobic views and your deep-seated admiration for Edward Cullen.

 RDM:don’t think that because I don’t beat up women,I won’t hit you.You are not a woman.You are my unofficial bhai.

 YT: bah! Edward er moto ho! dekhbi toke **** koto bhalobashbe!…(be like Cullen.and see just how much she loves you)

RDM: Edward academics e kirom chhilo??(how was he in academics??)

YT:no idea! guess good.

 RDM:accha I gotta go.kal exam na??bye.

uh huh! and you’d still insist that you don’t emulate him!


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